consciousness

At the University of Chicago you can major in the History of Consciousness.

Carolyn showed me this pretty interesting article about Consciousness today. That act was in no way connected to the aforementioned statement. one of those weird coincidences, i suppose.

Though parts of it teetered more toward New Age religion, it brought up many interesting, thought-provoking points. I suppose i should reexamine my biases against psychology.

i was pretty conflicted, though. actually, at first i was entranced, then argumentative, then tried to reach a compromise. true consciousness, it argued, entails "letting go." letting go of all analyzing, thinking....just letting your mind wander...ignoring the inner voice. The sense of self is merely a compilation of abstractions and concepts. We conceptualize the world too much instead of seeing it for what it truly is...crises, therefore, ensue when we manipulate our surroundings b whatever preconceived notions or "concepts" we try to apply. technology only escalates this problem. I did like the idea of "letting go." especially with regards to nature...going outside and simply absorbing...what? i don't know. it's so hard not to think, not to analyze. i am entranced by the idea of just sitting and being. connecting with nature.

yes, i suppose that is a bit "new-agish," but doesn't it sound appealing? letting go of all selfishness, all conceptions of self! the world is not about you, so stop thinking about thinking about something profound. or thinking about thinking about thinking about something profound.

over and over and over again.

cessation.

but then i tried to reconcile that with my beliefs. and i don't think the purging of all thoughts is the key to "nirvana." heck, i don't even believe in nirvana. That was what bothered me the most about this article...it's claims that to live "fully" one must cast aside all thinking.

i don't think that the emotional sphere is completely detached from the mental sphere or the psychological sphere. this article was founded upon the assumption that they are. love cannot be separated from thinking. compassion cannot be separated from understanding.

i kept thinking of romans twelve, which says,

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

...be transformed by the renewing of your mind. thinking, analyzing, understanding...all of these have a role to play in life. yet in and of themselves...it's not enough. a transformation must take place. most religions acknowledge this...that's why nirvana exists, that's why escapism exists, that's why people do yoga. something needs to be done to the mind.

and as attractive as "letting go" of life while in the woods may be, i think it's more attractive to yield your mind to God. granted, i'm not really sure what this looks like in every-day life. i'm still working on that. and even though i don't really understand it, even though it's still really abstract...i have faith in what i believe.

i just feel as though the self is important. all of my abstractions, all of my conceptualizations, all of my predispositions...are not for naught. I have a mind for a purpose, and only through its cultivation and transformation (by a higher source) will I be able to employ it in the way God designed. i don't like nirvana because even though it's about "letting go," it's ultimately about that "feeling" of euphoria...which is pretty self-centered. nirvana is, paradoxically, self-serving.

who really cares if i have a moment of utter peace in the middle of a field? i guess it has its place in life, but it's not the end-all-be-all. wouldn't it be better to use my mind and make some sort of difference in the world...even if it's so much as making someone laugh after looking at a weird picture that i photographed?

the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. again, i don't entirely understand what this looks like, but I'm pretty sure it isn't nirvana.

maybe i'm wrong. i'm still working on that.

granted, it was fun to wrestle with this concept.