Meet the quasi-sane creator of this blog

I am a conformist.
I solemny sweared that I would never succumb to this ostensibly "fake" technological world of online writing, but obviously something has changed.

And so I write.

?Quien es esta chica malinformada?
(and why can't i use the correct accents on this american computer??)

Some call me Chut, hence the title of this website. I am officially deemed "Courtney Ann Potter," aka the brown-eyed beauty who pines for her native land...the cobblestone streets of Kirkwood, the tasty steakburgers from Steak n' Shake, the midwest accent (wait, we don't have one)...in other words, all that is St. Louis. La mejor.

My favorite color is green. I have a tendency to pick up a book, read the first few pages, will to read it, then desist. I can make tortilla de patatas. I am double-jointed. I passed out from heat exhaustion at my first cross-country race. I can't pronounce "moustache" correctly. I am a partisan of the nineties...carebears, full house, my little ponies, blossom, pogs, beanie babies, and the great flood of '93 (for all you fellow st. louis enthusiasts). I like analyzing, thinking, pondering, ruminating, dabbling, gazing, romanticizing, snoozing, and dreaming. Photography, creative writing, art history, greek history, poemas con rima asonante, and reformed theology...these are a few of my latest pursuits. The major of choice for today is Spanish and a little bit of Writing. Specific, eh?

If you haven't noticed, I like Spanish. In fact, I like words. I may be nonconfrontational in speech, but I am assertive and (perhaps even) eloquent in writing. Relatively speaking, at least.
When I was seven I played constantly with a group of headless, naked Barbie dolls. They were awesome. (Clothing is so over-rated). They inhabited the top drawer of my dresser, named "the den" and stirred up mischief among the Barbie families. They were my comic relief: the court jesters, the gremlins, the strangely likable antagonists, the quintessence of Creativity and Imagination. Sometimes I think that childhood was the peak of my life...that singular time in my life where i could just BE. Fuck conformity. Fuck societal regulations. I could just be Courtney Ann Potter; the writer, the artist, the devious plotter, the tinkering imp, the sociable seven-year-old. I miss childhood.

How do you reconcile your past with the present? How do you just BE? This is my challenge; this is my hurdle; this is my "meta especial." I seek to find that creative, unquenchable Courtney of the past and ressurect her care-free spirit, bringing her to my present, my reality.

I am not the first to dabble in such endeavors. Have you ever read Emerson? You are missing out on life if the answer is "no." (Besides, his middle name is Waldo; this is reason in and of itself to go read his books). He encapsulates my plight in "Experience," one of his essays...oh it is so beautiful! He writes, "So much of our time is preparation, so much is routine, and so much retrospect, that the pith of each man's genius contrcts itself to a very few hours....So in this great society wide lying around us, a critical anlaysis would find very few spontaneous actions."

Spontaneity.

Sigh. This gives me such trouble. I made this my idol during senior year...i ended up in bad places. But when i'm not spontaneous, I'm miserable in such hackneyed normality. Routine, monotony, work, work and more work. I am a conformist who longs to be a nonconformist.

Oh dear. I ought to go. No tengo ganas de escribir mas en ingles porque mi mente suele caminar sin destinacion especifica.

Read on, if you so wish..

Yours truly,

Courtney A. Potter.