moving day

It's moving day, part one! I just packed all of my stuff for my st. louis/chicago pilgrimage. I can't move into the Evanston house until the 18th of June, so until then I will be frolicking with St. Louis friends in Forest Park and Chesterworld.

These three weeks in North Carolina have confirmed several things:

1) I need a job and responsibilities. Life is boring without work, and the work that I need is people-oriented. Boredom breeds when there is a lack of interesting people (or people in general) because creating 'fun" things to do only gets me so far.

2) I like being a part of community. And i miss fostering those relationships. I like this about RUF and dorm-life at UNC, and especially all the journalism trips. Half the fun of going to Peru and Chile and all of those photojournalism workshops was getting to know my classmates better, and in a new environment. Being around all sorts of people with different opinions and beliefs and personalities than my own challenges me to take a deeper look at the world (and myself) and helps me relate better, in the long-run.

3) the importance of "just doing" things. I've been sitting around too much, thinking about far-off possibilites...like classes, potential jobs, study-abroad options...and it causes too much self-doubt. When I'm not DOING photography I feel like I'm made a bad career decision. And then I waste a lot of time hypothesizing, worrying, running my thoughts in circles. I have enjoyed the hiatus from hard-core photojournalism work, and that is fine. It doesn't mean I'm not fit to do it as a job.

4) I don't ever want to move to Wake Forest for permanent residence. Suburbia scares me, especially when the home becomes the central part of life to the expense of other important aspects of community. It's not just suburbia...I guess this can happen anywhere, but it's especially apparent here, I guess. I'm excited to try out Chicago and see how I like living there.

my brain

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

mirror lonely

I'd like to memorize more poetry. I'm pretty sure I will fail at this endeavor, as I have in so many other similar undertakings. I came across this William Carlos Williams poem that I quite liked. It has a lovely colour to it.

Danse Russe

If I when my wife is sleeping
and the baby and Kathleen
are sleeping
and the sun is a flame-white disc
in silken mists
above shining tres,--
if I in my north room
dance naked, grotesquely
before my mirror
waving my shirt round my head
and singing softly to myself
"I am lonely, lonely.
I was born to be lonely,
I am best so!"
If I admire my arms, my fac,e
my shoulders, flanks, buttocks
against the yellow drawn shades,--
Who shall say I am not
the happy genius of my household?

this is all a bunch of bullshit

Your Birthdate: April 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you. Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first. You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world. An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be. Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?