hiatus

"For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart" ~Ecclesiastes 5:20

i've felt this strongly before, and I kind of crave being there again. i've been way too reflective the past couple of days, to the point where it is hampering peace of mind...maybe some of that is just coming home. It's hard to carve out a "present" for myself here, since I'm surrounded with ancient memories. old journals, scrapbooks, the stuff in my room hasn't changed since senior year of high school but I've changed so much.

thanksgiving break is so weird. it's like stopping 2/3 of the way through a footrace...you had so much momentum even though you were really tired. now I'm not so tired, but I can't imagine finishing the last leg of the race...or starting the last leg of it.

for as tired as I've been this semester, it hasn't been because of work. I've been half-assing the last part of advanced photojournalism. I think I'm thinking too much...in the philosophical, circular way that sometimes gets me somewhere important but often keeps me in a state of paralysis. I really want to just be "doing" again...I want to be busy, enjoying my work, enjoying any semblance of routine. As it is, I've been all over the place. Other people have been all over the place, and I may be letting it affect me too much.

I guess it's okay. True, my identity is not wrapped up in how much I accomplish. "Fear God and keep his commands, for this is the whole duty of man." That's it...right there. And in all my thinking I've kinda forgotten this. Again, it's okay. Repent and believe.